Casi me reí.
No because it was cute. Until, for the first time, the cruelty was not destroyed. I had no excuses, no soft phrases, no old words that made me doubt myself. Only the truth was there, felt in front of me on the sofa of flowers of my mother, with Daniel cruzado of the stones and a smile of annoyance, as I would spend time with her.
—How much? —asked.
My mother said, she was uncomfortable with my tone.
—Lucia…
—How much? —he repeated.
Daniel leaned forward, placing his legs on the wheels.
—It’s five million euros —I say, how do you talk about buying bread—. But listen, this is once distinct. I keep a partner. Hay a local. A strategy. That’s all I’ve said.
I looked at it without stepping on it.
—Ya.
—I need to finish this week —he continued—. Yes, within now, I will recover every six months. One year, max. But for this reason there is a serious person who blames the operation. Alguien with liquidez. Someone with… credibility.
Ahí estaba.
Don’t ask a hija. Querían un aval.
My mother took my hand over the table. No the aparté. Quise listen until the end.
—Hija, we know that it’s been a bad time —I say with that embarassed voice that I used when I wanted to manipulate me—. But precisely because of this we should understand that family is the only one we care about. Daniel needs a real opportunity. And you… you always have the strength.
The strength.
The word fell on me like an old stone. The force was the one that no one heard of. The thing wouldn’t break. Which always paid off.
—And why did I need the night at the hospital? —asked.
Nadie responded.
—An ambulance? ¿A llamada? What will they believe me when I say I was sangrando? —continued—. Does this not fall into the “family” category?
Daniel only let out a theatrical sigh.
—Other times with this.
Turn the head of the room to the left.
-Yes. Again with this. Because in this case I die while you cover the sails.
My mother was worried.
—We didn’t know that it was that serious.
—No quisieron saberlo —he corrected.
The phrase dejó el aire helado.
For a second I’ll come to you dear. No fault. Not exactly. More nuisance. As I know it was a despicable noise in the middle of an important event.
In this instant I heard the definitive word: no iban to change. No regrets. No for love. No because I’ll explain the pain better. The only thing that needed to change was where I was on this table.
I rose.
—Don’t go and receive a euro.
My mother paled.
—Lucía, no seas impulsive.
Daniel uses pie too.
—Impulsive? After all what I said? Look, Lu, that’s enough numbers. You’ll never get to the end. I’m alive. Overcome it and you must punish the whole world as if you were a saint.
I admired it. In truth I saw it. The child who defends himself in school when others mock him. The teenager who knew when he faced problems. The man who had financed a whole life of excuses.
And I heard… nothing.
No ternura. Ni must. No hope.
Nada.
—No os estoy punishing —say calmly—. I’m retiring.
On average I went up to the house before my mother started crying. Because he knew he would have it. Not for me. However, losing access to me was, for her, a logistical tragedy.
During the next few weeks they blocked me with calls, messages, messages and many notes of moral indignation. My father, who had remained suitably silent throughout my life, deigned to even write to me. Just one line:
“Don’t destroy your brother or daughter.”
see continuation on next page
